Self Evaluation and the Unbridgeable Gap (thoughts from the cave)

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There is a profound vulnerability in, and thus a fierce aversion to, true self evaluation.

There’s a distance between the dream and the life I can’t measure. There’s a crack in the foundation and it’s where we bury our treasure. So as the world crumbles and dies we spend our time on lies that tell us it’s always worth it and it’s never worth it. 

The open hollow place we try to fill with darkness demands light and we can’t find a candle, but it’s not like letting go is easy or we would all let go. Closing out the dark and opening to the light

is not a struggle it’s a fight. 

…while the forest blazes we’re looking for shade a place to rest as the world’s edges fade it burns in from the corners and we think we’re safe, hiding deep in the heart of a cold dark cave…

…the thunder is saying something but we can’t comprehend a sound with no source and line with no end the mind is never ready for bounds it doesn’t know and the heart can’t embrace such immense greatness so they know and then love only each other in perfect little circles they’ve created together so the gyre spins ‘round and ‘round and ‘round again folding back on itself to a furious end…and then a whimper, not a bang. 

Then we tell ourselves we’ve reflected, changed and go on neatly about our day. 

This is the problem – the confounding impasse: until I add a new variable to the equation, I will keep committing the same evaluation calculation, without the needed complication. I look to the Father and His holiness, and I realize what I must add – the irony of the variable that is, in fact, invariable. The constant and eternal Truth must be included in the evaluation; if not, I will continue to come to the same conclusion, unfettered and unaltered by foundational inspection required to truly comprehend failure and effect change. Read 1 Corinthians 3:11. Until I realize I can not fundamentally change without God, the Supreme Constant, and Jesus, the Christ and Savior of the souls of all humankind, I am, in futility, trying to cross an unbridgeable gap.



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